The Lord goes before you.

I'm going to be very transparent in this post, just as I hope to do on my whole blog, and in my life. I am ridiculously prone to fear, worry, anxiety, doubt, all of that messy terrible stuff.

I went through abuse as a kid and got diagnosed with some major PTSD, and i've gone through phases in the past where I was too scared to even go out my front door. Big changes send me into a whirlwind of doubt and anxiety, and this has been a battle of mine for over 10 years. 

We all know perfect love casts out fear, and I believe in and have accepted God's perfect love, and I do on a daily basis. But for some people, that just doesn't take all their cares and worries away instantly. 

Because I have PTSD I go through phases of anxiety. Some days, weeks, months, are awesome. Some, are the opposite. My biggest fear is the unkown. I make a million possible situations in my head, most of them scary ones, and when the time comes for me to move in a area in my life, I over analyze and freak out. 

But recently, I had a breakthrough, a realization that has given me the most peace i've ever had. Something that's deepened my trust and relationship with God alot. And it all relates to this verse in Dueteronomy 31, verse 8;

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Whenever I get in a bad place in my life, whenever things start looking grim, when I'm afraid, I pray for God to go ahead of me in a situation. And in my mind, it's like ok well now I sent God ahead so he should help me through this. How ridiculous. God is years and years ahead of me. He's not surprised by anything that happens, and THEN decides to start working in my life and heart. He's already handled every single thing long before you even knew you needed him. He goes before you. He paves a way, he defeats obstacles, he leaves some ones but strengthens you in the process so when you arrive to that place he's prepared you to go through it. And he's not always just in the future, he's present too. That's something I fail at, worrying about the future and missing my present. He never leaves. Why am I being discouraged by circumstances that are just old news and done business to my King? So recently just by realizing and accepting this truth, whenever I get anxious of a future circumstance, I just remind myself that God's already been through that and has it all taken care of. And no matter how bad or good things go, he's more than prepared and supplies me with all I need to make it through any change, season, or obstacle. I hope this blog can give you peace through whatever circumstance you're walking through, that you would know that the Lord has already gone before you, and he will not forsake you.

Running on Empty.

This weekend it happened. I ran out of gas in my car. The thing that i've never came close to, happened. I normally never let it go below 1/4th tank, but the weather had been iffy and I hadn't driven much the past couple days. But yesterday, I got in my car, put the key in the ignition and that evil light came on.  I live a couple miles from a gas station, so I figured I can make it because the light comes on when you have a little left. The 5 minute drive felt like 15, and I finally got to the gas station and to my dismay, all the pumps were full with cars. That's when the gas light started blinking at me, mocking me.  I was sitting there praying that I would have enough to make it to the pump the whole way there. Finally, there was an empty pump. As I pull forward, my car stuttered and I knew instantly- I was out of gas. Luckily, thanks to God's sense of humor, I was able to pull the hose as far as it went and it reached my car and I was able to fill my tank. I had quite a freakout moment, followed by relieved chuckles. As I got back into my car I had one of those moments where God speaks to you, drops a thought in your head and you're like woah.

How many times in my, and your spiritual walks do we run on empty? We get our fill at church, and it's enough to get us through our weeks and we conveniently start getting the low gas light as we pull into church. We walk in the doors, drained, aggravated, and stressed out but we leave full! It's great to have a 'filling station' if you will, but why would we want to live a life like that? And we all know 'those weeks.' The weeks where everything goes wrong, it's ridiculous stress and before Wednesday comes you're on the verge of a mental and emotional breakdown. And if it's not necessarily you, you've seen it plenty of other believers, even pastors. Those people who are always worn down and tired, yet they have the fuel right inside of them, they just don't pour it into their souls.

The Bible tells us constantly to be FILLED with the Holy Spirit. Not 'just a little', but completely full and running over with the Spirit that God sent to us, to be our comfort, strength, peace and more from Christ. 'Full' in the dictionary means 'containing as much as possible, not lacking, having an abundance.' Yet we feel at times that we're empty- which in the dictionary has a meaning of 'marked by the absence of human life, activity, or comfort and lacking substance, meaning, or value.'

And why is this? There can be a number of reasons. You could be lacking in your relationship with Christ. You could have weekly visitations with him, but you haven't fully let him move into your heart and life. Or, you could be filling up the tank of your Spirit with junk. It could be sin, or it can even just be letting your own worries and plans consume your life and not taking time to relax in his presence and let him fill you. I would urge you to consider the tank of your life, heart and Spirit and how full it is.

Dear friends, I want to live a life that's always full. And the glorious thing is that we have Christ, and the Spirit always there, always having abundance of what we need. Let us empty the things in our hearts that are taking up space, and be filled CONSTANTLY. There's seasons where you may need to spend multiple hours a day in his presence just to get through that day, and that's fine because his strength is sufficient in your weakness. There may be a situation that's just running you on low. Give that to God, his hands are big enough to carry it and the burden is not yours any longer. My prayer for myself and for you is this.

'Father, you see the areas of my life and relationship with you where i'm running on empty. I acknowledge that only you can completely fill and satisfy me. Forgive me for the times where I fill myself with worries or things of this earth. Fill me with your Spirit, rid my heart of things that are not of you and are taking up valuable space. Let me be in constant communication with you and your presence, so that I may always have the outpouring of your grace, peace, joy and goodness. Not only so I can live a full life, but that I may be able to pour into others. Amen.'

Who's Faith do you have?

This labor day weekend I was talking to someone who's been going through a season of a lot of confusion. A key problem was he was heavily weighing so many people's opinions.
The Bible does encourage getting wisdom from elders, peers, and Pastors. But there becomes a point where everyone thinks they have a right to tell you how to conduct your life, what your calling should be, how to get in a career, and how to run your relationship/marriage. And so many of us try to be everything they say we should be.
Here's the thing: They have their own life, separate from yours. They make their own relational, career, and calling desicions. They are a completely different person with different experiences, traits, and characteristics than you. They handle things completely different than you do.  And they have their own relationship with Christ. How they conduct their lives works for them and that's great, but that doesn't mean it has to work for you.

Too often we try to live a life identical to someone else's. And then we get into the deep issue of trying to have their Faith. Certain people are not risk takers, and they play the safe game and just love the Lord and have the typical American life. There's nothing wrong with that. But then you have people who ONLY live off of faith. Constant risks, living on the edge, and having a far from usual life or calling. It's a crazy awesome lifestyle to have.

So here's where I ask; who's faith are you having? Are you praying, serving, or making life decisions just based off of how somebody else would? A key issue is parents. When you grow up in a christian house, it seems you just adapt your parent's relationship with Christ. And when you move out, or a big change happens, you have to figure out your own faith and your own relationship.

Not one relationship with Christ should be identical to another's. Relationships are unique, they are far from typical or cookie-cutter. Just look at dating or married couples. Some are very conservative, some are not conservative at all. They all look and interact differently.

It's a great thing to have examples of Godly people in your life, and to take wisdom from people into consideration. But before you follow any earthly person's advice, or lifestyle, seek the Heavenly Father.
What is HIS advice for you? He knows you more than any person on this Planet. Listen to his quiet but powerful voice. Not the loud overwhelming noise everyone around you is making.

Matthew 5:16

Today while browsing my Pinterest I saw this and it gave me a reality check. I've been so focused on my own life that i've forgotten to purposely bless others. No matter how terrible a day, season, or situation is in my life I have hope because I know the love of Jesus Christ. So many of our friends, co-workers, or even strangers don't have that hope. 
Sometimes I underestimate how much a random act of kindness will affect somebody, but it can truly change their life. The best cure of sadness is to bring others the Joy of the Lord. So no matter how down you are, make the decision to be a light of the Father's love and joy to people through your actions. The result will make your problems seem so insignificant. 


"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." -Matthew 5:16 (NIV)

So here it begins..

I've had so many scriptures, thoughts, Words from the Lord, and no place to put it to share with the World. I was going to simply do facebook notes but I wanted it to be bigger than that. I'm currently working on a blog about what being ransomed really means, but I thought I would do a introduction first. So hello! I would love if you would follow me on this journey and learn more about the Savior and his Word with me. Have a blessed day.

-Kathryn Elizabeth